You are awesome. You might not realize it yet, but it’s true.
How can we possibly know? Because we’ve seen – and experienced ourselves – the potential we all hold inside to achieve the life we dream of and deserve.
Inside of you, right now, lies all you need to fully embrace life and move forward with purpose. So why settle for the ordinary when so much more is within reach? Here are a few things you can do right now to help reveal the "awesomeness" that is within you.
- Set aside time for yourself, away from the craziness of life, and act on it. Think about it for a moment: What would you do if you knew for sure anything was possible? Where in the 7 F's of Oola – fitness, finance, family, field, faith, friends, and fun – do you need more balance and growth? Write down a goal and the steps you can take to make it happen. Put on your superhero cape and become the person God uniquely created you to be.
- Do one thing that will bring you closer to your OolaLife. Successfully achieving a goal has a way of restoring belief in ourselves and motivates us to succeed again. It’s like a domino effect. The pieces falling into place as we recognize our potential and face the doubts that kept it captive. Move forward with purpose and look back with gratitude. As Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book series, so perfectly put it, you’re living the OolaLife.
- As you grow in your OolaLife, you’re sure to notice the unrealized potential in others around you. A few kind words, an attitude of gratitude or simply leading by example, have the power to encourage those around you to embrace positive change. Who knows what they might achieve with your inspiration? A better “you”, makes a better family, a better community, and ultimately a better world.
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything: anger, anxiety, or possessions, we cannot be free.”
–Thich Nhat Hanh
One of my favorite movies is the 2003 comedy Anger Management starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. In one scene in the movie Jack Nicholson says:
“There are two kinds of angry people in the world: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store.”
That scene resonated with me when I saw it because I was the cashier. I was the one who remained quiet day after day and then when it was too much, I verbally blew up on someone, usually a loved one.
At the time, I didn’t know where my anger was coming from. Actually, if I’m honest, I didn’t know I was angry. I figured I was just frustrated or discouraged because, as a newlywed and a college student, I was stressed.
I didn’t know my “blowups” were affecting me and my relationships. I was completely unaware of how much anger I had and how it was impacting my life.
Years went by and then someone said:
“You are not as sweet as you used to be.”
I was offended and confused, but deep down I knew they were right but I refused to admit it. I was in denial.
I blamed my career:
At the time, I worked with victims of crime. As you can imagine, I saw and heard a lot of horrific things. Working in that environment, day after day, I became a little rough around the edges.
I blamed my personal life:
I felt unbalanced and that left me very irritable. Plus I was a new mother and was dealing with postpartum challenges.
I blamed everything but me:
I wasn’t handling or dealing with anger. I wasn’t trying to fix any situation that was toxic or unhealthy. I honestly didn’t know what was causing the anger.
Then two years ago I went through a divorce. I think that was my tipping point because I exploded. My mouth had no filter. I freely expressed all of my anger, both current and past.
It was like a complete purge of every hurt I was holding on to from my whole life. When I understood this it blew my mind. I didn’t realize I was holding on to past trauma and hurt. For years I had carried this pain and it stole my joy and the quality of my life.
Because I was entering a new chapter in my life I decided to focus on healing. I wanted to heal from the divorce and from past hurts. I chose to tackle anger head-on so I could understand the emotion and learn how to handle it. I didn’t want anger to negatively impact my future.
It’s two years since I started focusing on healing. I began incorporating the Oola principles and foundations in my life and I’ve made amazing progress.
My life isn’t perfect but I’m free from a lot of the hurtful baggage I was carrying around. But best of all I’m not angry anymore. In fact, I even stopped using sarcasm, which I had used in the past to mask my anger.
I’ve learned to recognize my triggers and install the kind of boundaries I need to stay centered.
Now when I feel angry, I analyze the situation and focus on the root cause, communicate and process what I can, and let it go.
If I do mess up I take accountability and ask for forgiveness. The most important thing for me is to never harbor anger or anything negative. This is not the way I now live my life. I am so glad I found a healthier way of dealing with anger.
If you’re dealing with anger and not sure how to tackle it, here are some things you can try:
Pray and seek God.
Take accountability for your own actions.
Go to counseling or therapy.
Talk to a family or a friend you trust.
Journal.
Find a support group.
Figure out the root cause(s) of your anger and work on healing.
Give yourself grace.
Be patient, it takes time to heal.
Set goals.
Find an Oola Life Coach.
Read the Oola books by Dr. Troy Amdahl and Dr. Dave Braun.
Harboring anger is not a healthy way to live. If anger is blocking you from living an Oola life know you are not alone. Inside you have all of the capabilities and support to be free from anger.
Anger can either be “a bump in the road or it can be a block.” If you want to live your best life view anger as a bump. Don’t let it consume you in an unhealthy way.
In Oola, we live differently!
I'm not sure at what point in my life “friends” became somewhat of a dirty word.
I grew up in the '90s and survived many 3-way call sting operations where two of your girlfriends turned against you. At the end of each episode, there would be a slight confrontation and then we'd be hanging out again at the park and having slumber parties.
Another confusing aspect of friendship was the labels. I grew up thinking you had one or two Best Friends and the rest were just Good Friends.
My understanding of Best Friend’s Characteristics:
know everything about you
have your back
support you
encourage you through the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
And Good Friends:
know you a little
go for coffee now and then
talk about day-to-day things like kids, work, or family.
I never intended to label my friends, it's just the way things were. And my best friends were Best Friends Forever, no matter what!
But what happens when a lifelong best friend turns out to be someone who contributes to anxiety or self-doubt? Or you grow apart and don't follow the same values anymore? Then one day you realize you're the only one still holding on to that half of the Best Friends Forever pendant you exchanged years ago.
When I was working through the Oola program I experienced a bit of awakening with this F word. I decided to remove the labels from my friendships.
Then when I looked at the people in my life I realized I was holding on to some pretty toxic friendships. I ended up breaking apart from some friends in order to propel forward in my life. It wasn't easy but it also wasn't as hard as I imagined.
I decided to join groups that aligned with my interests. So in the summer of 2020, I participated in an Oola for Women's book club. We were a small group of local women who gathered weekly to read and talk.
I was surprised to find out I wasn’t the only one who struggled with the category of friends. We all struggled to discuss this. I was amazed and felt so connected to the other women. We named our newfound friendship the “Frat Pack”. We laughed, cried, and worked through our friendship horror stories together. This was exactly what I needed as I mourned losing a lifelong friendship. With this group of women, I gained the confidence to move forward.
Life is such a beautiful journey. It’s okay to make uncomfortable changes. Maybe you need to take off the labels you attached to friends. Be honest with the evaluation of your relationships. If you need to walk away from some that have become toxic have faith that there are others waiting to fill the void.
What does the word “wisdom” mean to you?
Perhaps it brings to mind a wise old friend. Or you may identify with the concept through your faith. You may be fortunate to have a mentor or coach from whom you seek wisdom and guidance.
Wisdom can be defined as:
the soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.
It is inclusive of intelligence, understanding and insight. Not to be confused with “knowledge”, which is simply knowing - gained through reading, research, memorization, and general learning.
The primary difference between the two words is that wisdom involves a good amount of perspective and the ability to make sound judgments about a subject. It is not just about knowing what’s good for you, but applying that knowledge to your everyday life.
I admit, I often get caught up in the day to day tasks of life and lose sight of the power of my own wisdom. I’m the type of person who has an idea, gets excited about it, learns what I need to know, and starts the work to make it happen. Then along the way I lose momentum and sometimes confidence that it’s even worth completing.
I find myself with many started projects that I have yet to finish. This has happened to me very recently. I came up with a business idea, started the work toward that, then after some time felt stuck and confused about where I was meant to go in my career and how to get there. I had lost sight of the why behind it.
So I had a conversation with a mentor to talk through my situation and how I was feeling. While we were talking, she asked me,
“What is your Oola Hub?”
The Oola Hub is at the centre of the Oola Wheel. It’s the foundation, the core from which everything else flows.
I paused, and realized I had hardly thought about my Hub since completing the Oola course months ago.
How will I go far in life if I don’t even know what anchors me, brings me peace, and makes all this worthwhile?
I realize now that during this struggle there was something I hadn’t fully tapped into: wisdom.
The experiences I’ve been through, knowledge I’ve gathered and insight gained throughout my life have led me here to where I am now. And it’s up to me to listen to the wisdom I have attained and go back to that hub to ensure it is solid. From there I will navigate my next milestones and in which direction I will take my next strides.
Whatever your Hub is, here are some ways to bring alignment with your inner wisdom:
Personal Reflection. Your thoughts and reactions are powerful. Ask yourself questions to get to the core of what they really mean. Write them down.
Seek guidance and knowledge from others. I’m sure you could name at least one person you know who meets the definition of a wise person. Make a commitment to spend more time with that person, ask questions and see how you grow.
Grow from your mistakes. Often we find ourselves wanting to forget a mistake that we’ve made and move on as quickly as possible. Instead, pause; identify why it happened and what you could have done differently. Make note of that for the future so that you don’t make the same mistake twice.
Practice humility. Having a big ego and pretending to know everything will only bring you further from your goal. Instead, admit to your imperfections and know that no one can ever know it all, so we are here to learn together and help each other.
Review past actions and outcomes. Do this every time you make an important decision.
Wisdom is an accelerator to get to your Oola life, in all seven areas. You can build a life of balance and peace. If you truly want to live an Oola life listen to wisdom.
