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I remember stepping into Mee Mee’s house on Sundays and how all the smells would hit me. First, was her ‘Youth Dew' perfume immediately followed by roast,  meatballs, or ham. It took only one beat to inhale deeply and know what we were having.  

Upon our arrival, the garlic bread would go in the oven and then, like clockwork,  the scream came a few minutes later, “I’m burning the garlic bread!!” and then scraping of charred bread would commence.  

Every Sunday I’d see my grandparents. Every Sunday there was football. Every  Sunday I’d hang with my cousins. We’d play outside, wave to the caboose on the passing trains, climb the levee, and fish or swim in the lake. This is what family meant to me. 

As things tend to go, this tradition met with some resistance in those teen years, but our parents stood their ground. I now know it was Mee Mee that stood her ground and her boys did not resist. She was the glue.  

There was a way about her that everyone instantly was connected to. And her smell  was distinct. You knew it immediately. It arrived before she did and lingered well after. I miss it the most. 

Sunday dinners started to fall apart once we were grown, moved further away, and had families of our own. They were still there but I didn’t consistently attend. But one thing that was consistent was Mee Mee’s presence. She attended every event,  birth, recital, or concert. She was even there as her great-grandkids were born. And attended all their productions too. 

My parents modeled the importance of family to me. They showed us how to stay connected. My grandparents showed us how to live. We had Oola and didn’t even know it. It took me years to finally realize this. 

I have set a dream to start these dinners again. This is the legacy I want to review and leave for my kids and grandkids. I want them to catch a whiff of my scent and say, she’s coming. I want them to smell the bread burning and laugh. I want them to know and love their cousins so that even if they drift from time to time, they are anchored.  

The funny thing is my cousin put her dream on my Oola Dream Bug. It reads: 

Sunday Dinners at Mee Mee’s 

Now once a month we gather for a Family Dinner! What legacy or dream do you have for your family? 

 BY: Deanna Salles-Freeman is a Certified Oola Life Coach 

There’s no getting around it; writing things down is an important part of finding your way to your Oola life. Not committing it to memory, but actually taking a few minutes to thoughtfully write out your goals.

There’s a good reason for it. Studies show if you write something down and review it daily, you are 80 percent more likely to reach your goal! And we’re not telling you to do anything we don’t do every day.

Here are a few things to consider as you get into the habit of writing down your goals:

• With so much going on around us, it’s hard sometimes to hold on to a thought, much less the moves we need to take on balancing the seven Fs of Oola (fitness, finance, family, field, faith, friends, and fun). And when we do go back, we usually remember things a little differently. A thought is fleeting. Writing it down makes it stick and reviewing it – instant replay!
• If you’re like us, tomorrow is like an obstacle course, filled with everything from picking up some milk at the corner grocery store to remembering to walk the dog before you leave. Seeing what you’ve written the night before is a great way to focus on what’s important.
• Give your brain a break! Have you ever stressed out, trying to remember the name of the actor who played Doc in “Return to the Future”? (It was Christopher Lloyd.) Make it easy and spell it out. Not only will it reduce stress, but you can think clearer when it’s right there in front of you.

When I was growing up, my daddy always said, “Actions speak louder than  words.” As an adult, I've really found his words to be true.  

I’ve heard plenty professions of love. But I had also experienced copious amounts of conduct that contradicted what I knew love should look like.  

At 42, I’d been rocking the single mom life for quite a while when I met Chris. He  approached me with a smile and said, “You look pretty today.” 

My knee-jerk reaction was a slightly snarky and totally jaded “Now that’s a line”,  paired with a cynical eye roll.  

If my reaction surprised him, he didn’t show it. Instead, he politely replied “Not at all. It’s a compliment because you really do look pretty.” 

Unwilling to give him even a glimmer of grace, I raised an eyebrow and quite matter-of-factly popped off with “Well, all men are douche bags so…” 

“Not ALL guys” he said.  

Nevertheless, as a disheartened, distrusting divorcee who felt unbelievably broken, I had built a barricade around my heart so high I couldn’t even accept warm words from a genuinely kind guy.  

But Love is a verb. It isn’t just a feeling or some words to woo. And Chris knew that.  

In that moment, as I tried to dismiss him and his sincere words, something welled up inside him that commissioned him to show me not all men were what I believed them to be. On that day Chris began an unexpected mission to remove my towering wall, brick by brick. 

It began with small gestures of kindness, words of encouragement, showing honor, and giving grace. Chris had no air of arrogance about him but instead showed a  humble heart in everything he did. And he was quick to serve instead of waiting to be served.  

Because Love is a verb…. and Chris knew it. 

It wasn’t long before I realized he didn’t just do these things for me. No. He treated everyone this way. I could quickly see he had the respect of those who knew him well. He was genuinely a good guy, a good friend, and a man who was trusted. 

Before I knew it, we were fast friends. Just friends. Keeping him in the “friend zone” was safe. No expectations. No vulnerability. No trampled heart.  

Somehow, Chris was accepting of this, even though he had feelings for me. He didn’t push or pressure me for more. His patience and perseverance showed he wasn’t playing for a quick “win”. He was showing me who he really was.  

Chris was allowing his actions to speak louder than words… because Love is a verb. 

By now, I knew this guy was caring, kind, and considerate. His conduct toward me, and others, was consistent. He listened to me. He made me laugh. He showed compassion and gave heartfelt comfort that I hadn’t experienced before. He didn’t judge me. And he was even willing to be vulnerable about his own brokenness.  

Day by day, new layers of this man were revealed. And with each layer, I found myself removing bricks from that once impenetrable wall. Until one day I realized there was no wall left.  

Wait! How did that happen? Where had my wall gone? You know, the one that was built with Fear of being hurt again, Anger at myself and others, for the betrayal and heartbreak I’d experienced, and Self-Sabotage that kept me stuck in my pain, and caused an unwillingness to allow good people in my life.  

That wall and those blockers were gone… because of Love.  

There’s a chapter in the Bible, 1 Corinthians‬ 13, that describes Love.  

That’s the Love Chris showed me every day from the first day I met him. His actions showed me, Love. With Love, he patiently helped break down a wall constructed from pain, all while building up a woman who’d felt damaged,  dismissed, discouraged, and devastatingly devalued. With Love, I now knew I was wanted and worthy, valued and valuable, important, appreciated, and enough! 

Once I was no longer hiding behind a wall, I could clearly see I loved this incredible man… So, I told him.  

“Christopher, I’m in love with you!” I announced as I looked at him adoringly. “It’s about time!” he said with a laugh. 

“Let’s get married!” I blurted out.  

So, we did!  

Wow! That’s the power of Love. It can:  

• help heal a broken heart 
• deliver hope in the darkness 
• alleviate animosity and facilitate forgiveness 
• empowers you to face-punch your fear 
• find ways to grow in gratitude 
• inspires faith for your future 
• promotes peace 
• restores relationships 
• and so much more.  

Do you see just how powerful Love can be? What a gift to give yourself and offer others!  

Love is an Oola Accelerator that you have the ability to share, show, and live every day.  

Chris and I have now been married 7 years now. I thank God every day for this hubby of mine who continues to show me that Love is a verb.   

Julie Michelle Phillips is a Certified Oola Life Coach 

What if you were known for how great you are at loving people? Great friendships are possible for anyone, but the most meaningful friendships are built and maintained with time and commitment. It's easy to put time into our families, our kids, our careers, and our hobbies, but do we put as much energy into our friendships? Here are 7 ways to help strengthen our friendships.

• Pray for them: There is so much power in prayer. If you have a friend that is going through a hard time, pray for them. If a friend has a big job interview, or a tough conversation coming up with a child or spouse – say a prayer for them. Let them know you're praying for them and asking them about any specific prayer requests they may have.
• Read the same book together and talk about it: Life often takes friendships down different paths and to different places. We've found that one of the greatest ways to stay connected with those friends is to read the same book or devotional and find time to chat about it. Learning is rewarding, but it is even better with a friend.
• Take time: With all the things we juggle in our lives, it can be hard to carve out some quality time for our friends. Weeks and months can pass without seeing each other. We want to encourage you to set a goal to take time every month to connect with a friendship that you value. It could be a 20-minute coffee date, a long dinner date, or even a weekend trip. It's not necessarily about the quantity, but the quality.
• Send thoughtful texts: Remember the big days and show support during the difficult days. Whatever moments matter to them are great moments to send a thoughtful text and just let them know you're thinking of them and you're grateful that they're in your life.
• Keep a tradition: Whether it's a restaurant, trip, or activity, build on good memories by making them traditions special to your friends and the times you've spent together. It'll be a great way to reflect on past memories and continue to make new ones.
• Compliment them: True friends lift us up, support us, and encourage us to be the best version of ourselves. A genuine, unexpected compliment is a simple, but meaningful way to do all 3.
• Find a way to go out of your way: Do something unexpectedly awesome. This could mean showing up to help your friend move into their new home, it could be bringing them soup when they're sick. Come up with your most thoughtful and creative way to go out of your way, and go make memories!

Imagine a young hockey team that is headed for a championship season. A kinship has spread through the team members, their parents, and their siblings, as well.

One kid, in particular, has become the envy of the rest. His dad had purchased his son the latest hockey gear, complete with a limited edition carbon fiber hockey stick and custom skates. The boy and his siblings have an entire room inside their home where they can play video games and watch TV. If they don’t want to join their parents for meals, microwaveable macaroni-and-cheese dinners ensure they are fed. On birthdays and holidays, the quality time that was non-existent the year prior was made up for in expensive gifts and the newest gadgets.

But does this 12-year-old really have it all? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Most of us recognize the sad reality of the situation.

But look a little closer. How many times do we engage in the same types of behaviors when we fail to cultivate the core of our family and prioritize what truly matters? We talk but don’t always listen. We have good intentions but let things get in the way of our true priorities. Our children grow up, they move away and we wonder why they can’t seem to make it home for the holidays.

Restoring balance in our families builds a foundation of love that is always, unconditional and no matter what. Here are a few ways to get started:

• Share your values with your children. Lead by example, respect one another, forgive others when things don’t go well, and support one another through good times and bad. Create traditions that strengthen your family’s identity and core values. Harness the pure love from healthy family relationships so everyone feels safe, secure, and loved.
• Pay attention to how your loved ones like to be loved. Take care of the people you love. Make their lives easier. Give without a thought of receiving. Show them they’re special in ways that make them feel the most special.
• Spend time together. Teach your children the importance of cherishing moments, not things. Whether you gather for family meals, head to the beach, or catch your daughter’s basketball game, make proximity a priority. When you talk to your loved ones, make sure to listen with your eyes. Work together, whether you are serving food at the local shelter, volunteering at your church, or raking leaves for a neighbor. No matter what you do, it will be time well invested.
• Share the love with your extended family. Even if grandparents don’t live nearby, build those relationships by crafting family scrapbooks, sharing vacations, retelling the stories you’ve heard a hundred times, or giving them a call to let them know how much you appreciate them. Get into the habit of complimenting the ones you love and magnify their strengths. The world needs more of that.

What strategies have worked for you? How have you strengthened the core of your family despite schedules that often send you running in separate directions? Where did you find common ground? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.